I was thinking yesterday about "The Mother I wanted to be when I grew up". As a teenager I wanted to get married pretty young about 21(which I was 22). I wanted to have children young as well so I would be able to be the "fun mom". I wanted to be the soccer coach and run up and down the side lines. I wanted to be able to be able to run around with my children and have fun and jump around them and be youthful and not be an old fuddy duddy. But, as things turned out the Lord had a totally different plan for me....it took Chad and I a long time to get pregnant and I will have a bum/lame ankle for the rest of my life (especially if the socialized health care plan passes). I feel so sad when Kip wants me to run and play with him and walk him to the creek and most days(especially now) I cannot possibly do it. I feel like I am 80 years old my ankle, back and hip hurt all the time, I cannot even play on the floor with them without assistance getting up. This is not how I picture having kids.....I just feel like I should be able to do more.
Trip Recovery
8 months ago
4 comments:
I doubt if any of us are the mother we *thought* we'd be. Mainly because Motherhood is quite a bit more challenging than we imagined it would be. At least for me. And one day you won't be pregnant and it will be a little easier, too. Pregnancy just hard. Just give yourself half the love you'd give Kip and you'll fine. :)
I have to agree with Kristen-none of us quite live up to what we thought we would be able to do :) And I think you are a fantastic mom :) We need a playdate soon; I'll call you.
Ideals are what they are - ideals. I think all we can do is the best we are able...our kids will know we are good people and tried our best to be their Mother. It is amazing how things actually do work out - you have almost 3 kids and many women out there would give anything to have even one little person in their lives. Life is good, but doesn't mean it isn't difficult. Life is hard and so are kids...but so worth it, even if hard to get around, kids understand.
That was a great post. I hadn't really thought about what I'd imagined I'd be when I was a Mom, but know, we all feel we fall short, because well, we all DO fall short! Imagine that. We give what we have, enjoy the moments we are in, and cherish the memories. You're doing great!
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